Harder to sleep at night,
Cause is desperation to feel the light, Stuck here I am in hellish plight, Pull me out of the hold of nyx, help me been here too long, I’m losing the fight. Ardor I feel, finally feel out of the fright, But rebounds the darkness monster, for my pain, it’s delight, Seeing that speck of light, makes my hope ignited, Or am I being foolish or tricked, have I already been consumed and benighted?
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A girl is sitting by herself, three seats before me on a train,
A girl lost in pain and her shirt has many spots of bloodstain, For a second, clueless, I question, face is fine, but Is her body in strain? I take off eye glasses and clean the lens, doubting if it is all just feign, I put my glasses back on, the bloodstain in her shirt, it still boldly reign, I feel uneasy, want to help, she is faced to window but her gesture asking for emotional cane, What can I do? How can I help? She's a beautiful women, from life so much to gain, Worrying I move a seat ahead, acting like I was uncomfortable in seats of the last lane, I look at her beautiful face from time to time, she still looks ahead, deep in pain, Eyes filled with tears, for world she has nothing but distain, I fiddle with my hand underneath the seat, growing uncomfortable, maybe even a chest pain? Injustice and silence I don't tolerate, helping someone I never abstain, I move ahead one more seat, I sit on the side with the window pane, Sweating a little in my hands, when I see her roughed up self and her shirt with blood stain, Pants torn on the sides, grey shirt filled with spots of blood, maybe even parts of her body sprained, Anger boiled over me, wanted to know why was she in that shape, I wanted it immediately explained! Couldn't take it anymore, to see a beauty suffer, so I went to her unrestrained, I open my eyes to a beautiful morning and a very bright sunshine,
Laying still, thinking what I should do today, just be lazy, sleep! orders my mind, But I turn to my phone, get shocked to my bone, as if I am touching a power line, “Hey sorry to be a burden of bad news, but Addie passed away, she stepped on a land mine” Texts comes with a stab to my heart, opens the dam of tears, from its confine, A stranger Addie was but became my friend when she rescued me from the frontline, Yes she is my hero, my savior, pulled me from wreckage in the combat near the borderline, I almost died with dire wounds; she brought my life back to gloom, her hands divine, Forever grateful I am, but hadn’t talked to her in a while, no means to talk to her anymore, heavens doesn’t have a hotline, She will always be in my mind and deep in my heart, for now she is gone to be among angels, drinking red wine. In my dreams you come every night and second of the day,
To wash away my pain, stress and sadness that has built up like clay, I would come to you right now, this moment, if I had a sleigh, I promise you my dear love; I will make you mine give me time, just stay, Although you don’t know who am I, and you have nothing to say, But I know you; you have given me motivation stress to allay, Scared you might be to hear a stranger say, maybe I sound like a dog that’s stray, Please don’t shoo me from your heart, once you give it to me, I would never betray, Love, love life they say, but without you holding and loving me, there’s no way, I wish I was filthy rich and had no societal worry, don’t want to be a castaway, Would come to you bold and lion hearted, would make you mine by this Friday, Takes time to fall in love they say, but once you know me my love, love each other we would until the judgment day, I know you don’t know me my love, give me time to explain, give me some leeway. Wherever I go, whatever I do, I don’t have you,
Believed in god, often prayed for you, but he only loves to screw, God took my heart, took my brain, and my emotion to drain, Oh wait! He wants to take away more? Because that’s too few, My soul is gone, leaving only corpse behind, like in a concentration camp of the Jews, I don’t tell my story to people, scared they will hate me, or tell me to shoo, I need you my dear love, only you have been where I have, and could fit in my shoes. I have tripped and fell many times; physically they were fast to heal, Emotion is a different story though, it aims bull’s eyes direct for the kill, Sometimes I feel like giving up too! Letting go of everything, shoving down a bottle of Advil, I could give up my life, leaving everything in-still, die and get buried next to an anthill! But thought of what my loved ones will feel, makes me very sad, very ill, and gives me uncomfortable shrills, I will never tell my story to another, I worry I will be an outcast then, My death being something on their list as if I am on a queue, I need you my dear love, only you have been where I have, and could fit in my shoes. What am I to you? Who am I to you?
A toy? A bitch? When not needed, you can just shoo? Oh how sad you get over tiniest things, but did I ever boo? Listen, understand and love you I always, but my turn came, you left me in rue, Maybe I should be happy and cheer, you got screwed, the evil happiness I get from it – seems past due, I talk and talk, help and feel your pain, every night and day, You flirt, and kiss, and fuck, and screw, every guy that looks your way, You truly don’t know what I feel about you, do you? you just like keeping me at bay, What have I become? Where is my manhood? I seek purity, not this kind of - whoredom, I really shouldn’t be your bitch or a toy, like you play with my heart in your boredom, I am a strong man after all, asleep but finally woke, out of being your goredom, Seeing me finally liberated and in freedom, how are you enjoying yourself? Back to being depressed hmm? |
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